Holidays are a lot. Between the packed schedules, family dynamics, and endless to-do lists, it’s no wonder stress levels run high. And when the pressure builds, meltdowns can happen — to kids and adults.
The good news? A little preparation goes a long way. With some simple strategies, you can keep stress in check and handle those tricky moments without feeling like everything’s about to unravel. Here’s how to keep it together when things start to feel a little too much.
Proactive prevention for a peaceful holiday
A stress-free holiday isn’t out of reach. With a little planning and some realistic expectations, you can sidestep holiday meltdowns before they start. Keep it simple, set boundaries, and remember that “perfect” isn’t the goal — memorable is. Focus on what really matters and make room for joy along the way.
Routines often go awry in the season’s bustle, so consistency can help keep everyone grounded. Sticking to regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and daily rituals, as well as planning for regular breaks, can avoid the temptation to overcommit. Setting these boundaries with loved ones ahead of time by communicating expectations surrounding gifts, length of visits, and downtime ensures that there are no surprises for anyone involved.
A little bit of preparation can also go a long way. Cooking during the holidays can be a huge area of tension. Plan for easy main dishes to ease cooking stress, like baked ravioli or shake-and-bake pork chops. Also, consider creating a meltdown game plan ahead of time, including strategies like a safe word or a designated cool-down spot where you can go to reset.
Spotting the signs early
Best case? Everything runs smoothly. Realistically? There’s probably some tension brewing. Spotting stress before it boils over can help keep things calm.
For children, stress often resembles irritability, unexplained silences or impromptu bursts of energy. If kids start seeming restless, fidgety or prone to tears, consider taking them aside to understand what is upsetting or engaging them in hands-on activities, like helping with easy tasks in the kitchen to keep them occupied and distracted.
For adults, stress appears as withdrawal and tension. Physical cues might include clenched fists, pacing or sudden silence. Knowing what to look for and watching for these signals can prevent stress from escalating and keep the holiday spirits intact.
Guiding your child through holiday stress
Meltdown in progress? It happens. The holiday season can be a lot for kids — toddlers, teens, and everyone in between. When emotions boil over, the best move is to stay calm. Your reaction sets the tone, so leading with patience and empathy can help de-escalate things faster.
Start by making sure they feel heard. Maybe they’re tired, frustrated, or just plain overwhelmed. Avoid dismissing their feelings or trying to reason with them mid-meltdown. Instead, offer a quiet space where they can cool off. Sometimes, a little distance from the chaos is all it takes.
Once things have settled, circle back later (that night or the next day) to talk about what happened. Help them recognize their triggers and brainstorm ways to handle those feelings next time. This approach teaches kids how to navigate big emotions, which is a skill they’ll use well beyond the holiday season.
Navigating adult meltdowns
Kids aren’t the only ones who can throw a tantrum. The high pressure of the holidays often gets to adults, too. When extended family, adult children or close friends are having a meltdown, approach them with sensitivity and calmness.
When the tensions rise, avoid engaging emotionally in that moment. More often than not, this can unintentionally escalate the situation. Try to stay neutral, giving them emotional and physical space to help them regain their composure. Offering them water and a quiet space to regain composure might be helpful. But before you jump in, think about your relationship with them to make sure your support doesn’t come across as overstepping.
When things have cooled down, you can approach them in a calm and understanding manner, acknowledging that the holidays can be overwhelming for everyone. Offering an empathetic ear can be helpful, but remember not to push them if they seem unwilling to share. Ultimately, a compassionate and non-judgmental approach can diffuse the situation and support your loved ones in handling unexpected emotions.
Managing your own meltdown
After all that planning and juggling, it’s no surprise if you feel a meltdown of your own coming on. This is your reminder to check in with yourself. When stress starts to build, it’s okay to step away. Politely excuse yourself, take a walk, or find a quiet spot to breathe and regroup.
Simple techniques like deep breathing or counting to 10 can help you pause and reset before emotions take over. And remember, you can’t control everyone else’s behavior — but you can control how you respond. Stepping away doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’re protecting your peace. Sometimes, that’s the best gift you can give yourself during the holidays.
Repair and reset
Things can feel a little tense after a meltdown — whether it’s yours, a kid’s, or another adult’s. Taking a moment to reconnect helps everyone move on without letting that stress hang around.
Addressing the issue is always a great place to start. If it was your meltdown, offer a brief apology to anyone affected. If it was another’s, encourage them to do the same where appropriate. Use this time to compassionately discuss what led to the meltdown and create a safe, supportive space to explore how to manage these feelings.
Offer a time to recharge with options like a favorite activity, a walk or some quiet downtime. Giving everyone space to process and reset ensures that you are reconnecting with care.
Keep expectations in check
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking every holiday moment needs to be magical, picture-perfect, and straight out of a movie. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. The reality is, most holiday memories are made in the in-between moments — not from chasing perfection. And the sooner you let go of that pressure, the easier it may actually be to enjoy the season.
One of the best ways to avoid holiday stress is to get clear on what really matters. Ask yourself (and maybe your family) what a great holiday looks like. Is it one big family dinner? A weekend with zero commitments? Matching pajamas and movie marathons? Whatever it is, focus on that and let the rest be optional. Trying to do it all is a fast track to burnout.
Another way to keep expectations in check? Embrace the power of “no.” You don’t have to say yes to every party, every cookie exchange, or every volunteer opportunity. If it’s not a “heck yes,” it’s probably a “no, thanks.” Your future self will thank you when you’re not running on fumes by the time the holiday chaos peaks.
Finding comfort in “good enough”
Lastly, remind yourself that “good enough” is still good. The holidays aren’t a performance review. No one’s keeping score. So, if your tree is a little lopsided, the cookies are store-bought, or you bail on a holiday event to stay home in sweats, that’s still a win. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s peace. And sometimes, peace looks a lot like a quiet night at home with your feet up.
Portions of the article originally appeared on Food Drink Life.
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